Namibia mean only one thing…weddings. This August, I saw signs of weddings everywhere – parades of cars, couples’ names taped over license plates and white flags in trees (note to all cynics: this is not a sign of surrender but a sign of celebration). And, fortunately, I had the opportunity to experience a few weddings myself! In America, weddings are often referred to as “the big day.” In Namibia, they’d be more appropriately called “the big week.”
The process begins when the future spouse becomes “known” to the family. I’m not sure what this all entails, because I wasn’t actually there, but the gist is that you don’t meet your future in-laws until you’re engaged (about 6 months before the wedding). Then, the wedding plans begin.
“Wedding week” begins on Sunday when the couple is announced in church. Again, I can’t be sure what is said (it was all in Oshiwambo), but all of the couples stand up in front of the church. Once church is over, the fun begins. At this point, each couple is followed out of church, surrounded by their posse. This posse consists most of celebrating women, but men are not excluded. The group proceeds toward their vehicle, but moves rather slowly because there is singing and dancing around the couple, as well as congratulations, whistling, harmonica playing, cow tail waving and ululating. For those of you not up-to-date on your Nam-lingo, the term ululating means making a wavering, high-pitched sound. It kind of reminds of a stereotyped Indian war cry. In addition to all of this auditory stimulation, there are the bright pink traditional dresses and beads to see.
From there, preparations begin in earnest. When you’re hosting hundreds of people without a wedding planner or catering company, there’s a lot to be done. Since weddings are held on the homestead, a tent (or two) is rented and erected outside the fence. Food must be cooked for all of the guests, so these means hours and hours of peeling potatoes, grating beets, boiling rice and butchering chickens, goats and cows. Plus, all of the logistical problems that you’d never consider in America, like bringing in huge blocks of ice to cool the drinks (no fridge), finding a generator so there can be lights after dark (no electricity) and hauling in water for cooking, cleaning and drinking (no running water).
When the big day arrives, it begins at a familiar place: church. A religious ceremony is held, and includes many of the familiar aspects – vows, rings and a bridal party. After church, photos are taken (the lodges in town are very popular locations) and then the celebration moves to the bride’s homestead. The main features of the homestead celebration are the gift-giving, the toast and the meal.
During the gift-giving ceremony, the bride and groom sit at a table outside and all the women line up. Most of the women balance their gift (a basket) on their head, but a few also give wrapped presents. The singing, harmonica playing and dancing continues as the move through the queue to present their gift to the couple. Next, the couple moves into the tent for the toast. Following a few words, the champagne is popped and shared with everyone in the room. Finally, it’s time to eat – the buffet servers are opened, the big basins are unwrapped and people dig in. As my Namibian BFF Henni likes to say, the food is destroyed.
After day one of the wedding celebration, the hoopla begins all over again the next day at the groom’s house!
